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If you can't put an egg in butter, you'll have to settle for battery acid.

bwwwssssshhhhhhhhh:

skelitas:

i’m basically “pro-do whatever you want as long as you’re enjoying yourself and not hurting other people”

500,000 note post encouraging furries

the-misadventures-of-lele:

squidwurd:

condommodel:

today at work someone tipped me a potato

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in some countries that is a marriage proposal

Even the potato looks confused

trillow:

"hello 911 i’d like to report a murder in th-" "haha, wow you’re a little snitch. hold on a sec. HEY DAVE, CHECK OUT THIS FUCKIN SNITCH ON LINE THREE"

darrynek:

lms if you’ve ever drank water or hijacked a school bus

roundtop:

asking the tough questions

2 days ago39,137 plays

sassykardashian:

"mom, I’m hungry" "make yourself something"

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sosungalittleclodofclay:

sakurasenshi:

Just saw this on twitter help I can’t stop laughing

EVERY TIME I SEE THIS I START LAUGHING AGAIN

sosungalittleclodofclay:

sakurasenshi:

Just saw this on twitter help I can’t stop laughing

EVERY TIME I SEE THIS I START LAUGHING AGAIN

jakesjohnson:

ernbarassing:

“Is it push or pull” I panic to myself as the doors come closer

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